Emptiness, Silence and the Neurodivergent Soul

Lately, I’ve been sitting with the quiet, tender, slow and silent parts of myself.

The ones that don’t need to speak or even be seen - but there is a deep longing to be felt, to be included within my silence.

These parts can be misunderstood by some folks who are used to motion and noise. Like value is placed in my voice rather than simply my presence.

I am a slow burner.
And in a world that wants immediate gratification - even in intimate relationships - many folks don’t stick around to meet me in the depths.
And I’ve got infinity.

- Melissa Rose Spencer -

The Quiet Truth of the Neurodivergent Soul

For many neurodivergent people - including those with autism, ADHD, sensory sensitivities, or who identify as Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) - the inner world can be spacious, subtle, and full of nuance. The outer world often doesn’t make room for that - we live in a culture that prizes fast talkers, confident sharers, and high-energy exchanges. Verbal communication is dominant - sometimes demanded - and social spaces can feel like a quiet competition. Who speaks first, who speaks loudest, who performs insight or humour on cue. But not everyone thrives in that climate. Not everyone wants to.

Silence Speaks Louder than Words

For some of us, words take time. Meaning is felt, not argued. Connection comes in presence, not performance. Sometimes I feel as though the world is constantly poking and prodding at me to be more - more productive, more visible, more articulate. But all I really long for is to be at peace with what I find meaningful. And so often, those things - stillness, beauty, slowness, depth - aren’t seen as meaningful enough by the outside world.

The Wisdom of ‘Emptiness’

This can lead to a kind of emptiness. Not always the emptiness of lack, but something more complex - a hollowing that can feel both isolating and profound. At times, it carries the ache of not being met, of being unseen in a fast-moving world. But in other moments, that same emptiness opens into something spacious - a quiet freedom, a vastness…awe. For many neurodivergent folks, emptiness isn’t just absence; it’s the space where truth echoes, where meaning quietly reveals itself beyond words or expectation.

Masking, Over-Explaining, and Exhaustion

So many neurodivergent people carry a deep well of inner experience that doesn’t easily fit the shapes and expectations of neurotypical spaces. We may mask to survive. We may over-explain ourselves in an effort to bridge the gap - stretching our nervous systems to make the unspoken understood, even when words aren’t our native language. Verbal communication is not always our dominant mode of expression, yet we’re often expected to translate our truth into tidy sentences, on demand. But sometimes, the truest expression doesn’t come in words.

Feel me speak.

In my stillness.

In my pauses.

In the way I stay,

the way I sense,

the way I soften.

Therapy That Moves at Your Pace

When presence is overlooked and only performance is praised, we begin to contort our natural rhythms just to belong. And in doing so, we risk becoming estranged from our own pace, our own essence. It’s exhausting - and it’s not the whole of who we are. Therapy can offer a rare space to be met in your natural tempo. To reclaim those quiet, tender parts. To unmask - slowly, safely - and come home to the self beneath the noise.

Whether you identify as autistic, highly sensitive (HSP), or simply weary of the performance of daily life, know that your depth is not too much - and your silence is not too little. There is a place for slowness here. There is a place for you.

Counselling and therapy for neurodivergent and highly sensitive adults — in Marsden, Huddersfield, and online across the UK.

My work is grounded in a neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed approach. If you long to be met in your depth, your quiet, and your full spectrum of being - you're welcome here.

📍 Book your free consultation here

Counselling, Psychotherapy, Supervision & Breathwork in Huddersfield & Online UK
By Melissa Rose Spencer | Creative & Somatic Counsellor, Psychotherapist, Supervisor & Breathwork Coach in Huddersfield | Online UK & Internationally